Stop telephoning me Maes!
by LongliveA.Monk
Summary: This song reminds me of Roy's frustration with Maes's constant calling. Telephone by Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce.


This song reminds me of these two and I even saw an AMV of it so I'm not alone! and I just found out someone else did something like this on deviantART. ...why can't I ever have an original idea? TT_TT

So yeah…Lady Gaga and Beyonce exist in the FMA universe..

_Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or Lady Gaga or Beyonce. …..I don't own anything!_

Stop telephoning me Maes! 

**Ring**

**Ring**

"Are you going to answer that Colonel?"

Roy Mustang rubbed his temples. "Do I have to?"

Riza Hawkeye blinked and looked at him sternly. "Of course you have to! It could be an emergency."

"Or, it could be Maes calling for the umpteenth time to bug me."

Riza half smiled and crossed her arms across her chest. "Even though there's a 99% chance that you're right, you don't know that that's true."

Roy sighed and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Roy!"

He sighed. "Just as I thought… Maes, what are you calling me for now?"

"Can't a friend just call up to say hi?"

"Please Maes, I'm very busy. Could you stop calling me for a little while? Like, not every five seconds?"

"But I'm bored! I have nothing to do!"

"Is that any reason to prevent me from getting my paperwork done?"

"Oh come on; don't you enjoy little calls from me?."

Roy hung up and slammed his head on the table. "Lieutenant, please put the radio on. I need to get the sound of the telephone ringing out of my head."

Riza nodded and turned on the radio on her desk.

"You're listening to K272 AM; Central's number one station for all the latest hits!" The announcer said.

Roy started filling out his papers again but kept looking at the phone. "You just wait, any second now it'll ring. Any second…"

"He's really annoying you isn't he?" Riza said.

Roy sighed. "It's not like I hate him; he's my best friend….but honestly! This has to stop!"

The announcer continued talking. "The most requested song this week is Telephone by Lady Gaga, featuring Beyonce."

Riza chuckled. "How ironic, with this situation."

Roy leaned back in his seat, smiling and rolling his eyes. "Yeah, seriously."

"There are a lot of parodies of this song;" She commented. "People changing the lyrics and things like that."

Roy was frozen for a moment, he seemed to be thinking of something. "I have an idea…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Maes Hughes was preparing to call Roy again.

"Really, don't you think you should let him do his work?" One of the other soldiers in his office said.

"Nah, he can finish it later. Besides, he always slacks off; I'm just giving him something better to do; talk to me!"

Suddenly, his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello Maes." Roy said over the line.

"Roy! You actually called me for once!"

"Yes I did. And I have a surprise; I wrote a song for you."

"For me? Oh you shouldn't have!"

"Oh yes I did. Now Maes, listen to this song veeeeeeeeeeeeeery closely, ok?"

"Ok."

Roy started to sing:

Hello hello, buddy; you called

Once again to talk

I have got no time to make small chat I say, say

Wa-wa-what did you say?

Huh?; You're still talking to me?

Sorry; I cannot talk now

I'm kinda busy

K-kinda busy

K-kinda busy

Sorry; I cannot talk now

I'm kinda busy

Just a second; I have got no time to play and I cannot talk now with a pen in my hand, eh?

You should be more considerate, you know that I'm not free

And now you won't stop calling me

I'm kinda busy

Stop callin', stop callin'; I don't wanna think anymore!; I'm about to slam my head against the door

Stop callin'', stop callin; I don't wanna talk anymore!; I'm about to slam my head against the door

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Stop telephonin' me!

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

I'm busy!

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Stop telephonin' me!

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Can call all you want but there's no one home and you're not gonna reach my telephone!

'Cause I'm tryin' to work, don't wanna be a jerk but you're not gonna reach my telephone

Call when you want but there's no one home

and you're not gonna reach my telephone

Tryin' to work, don't wanna be a jerk but you're not gonna reach my telephone

Man, the way you blowin' up my phone won't make me stop no faster, put my pen down faster, leave my work no faster.

I shoulda left my phone at home 'cause this is a disaster!

Callin' like a collector

Sorry: I cannot answer!

Not that I don't like you: I'm just need to work now

And I am sick and tired of my phone ri-ringing

Sometimes I feel like you never take the hint, my friend

Right now I'm not takin no calls 'cause I'll be workin'

'Cause I'll be workin'

'Cause I'll be workin'

Right now I'm not takin' no calls 'cause I'll be workin!

Stop callin', stop callin'; I don't wanna think anymore!; I'm about to slam my head against the door

Stop callin', stop callin'; I don't wanna talk anymore!; I'm about to slam my head against the door

Stop callin', stop callin'; I don't wanna think anymore!; I'm about to slam my head against the door

Stop callin', stop callin'; I don't wanna talk anymore; I'm about to slam my head against the door

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Stop telephonin' me!

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

I'm busy!

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Stop telephonin' me!

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Can call all you want, but there's no one home

And you're not gonna reach my telephone

'Cause I'm tryin' to work, don't wanna be a jerk but you're not gonna reach my telephone

Call when you want, but there's no one home

And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

'Cause I'm tryin' to work, don't wanna be a jerk but you're not gonna reach my telephone, my telephone, mi-mi-mi, my telephone

'Cause I'm tryin' to work, don't wanna be a jerk but you're not gonna reach my telephone

My telephone

Mi-mi-mi, my telephone

'Cause I'm tryin' to work, don't wanna be a jerk but you're not gonna reach my telephone

Roy then spoke:

"There, I'm finished. Do you understand now?"

"…Roy….you say you're overwhelmed with work and can't be bothered with distractions, right?"

"YES! Oh thank god, you do understand!"

"…so, if you're so busy, why did you take the time to change the lyrics to am entire song and then sing it instead of just telling me outright that you couldn't be bothered?"

"…"

The day, the loudest scream was heard through the halls of military headquarters. The next day, Roy Mustang didn't come into work as he had a bad case of laryngitis.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Wow, what is wrong with me? XD Flame it if you want; I'm still trying to figure out why I wrote this…


End file.
